Description: (Verse 1) I woke up this morning and my toast was slightly burnt It’s a lesson in tragedy I never should have learned Then I saw a puppy, but he didn’t look at me Now I’m drowning in the sorrow of my own self-pity I dropped a piece of cheese on the kitchen floor Life is just a hallway with a giant closing door. (Chorus) Oh, I’m so sad, I’m tragically blue I’ve got the kind of heartbreak only ice cream can subdue The Wi-Fi’s down to two bars, the sky is slightly grey I’m the protagonist of a very bad indie play Woe is me, pass the tissues and the tea I’m as miserable as a human being can be. (Verse 2) I looked into the mirror and I had a tiny blemish My dreams of being a supermodel are starting to diminish I reached for the remote but it was two feet out of reach Now I’m sobbing like a castaway on a lonely, sandy beach I checked my bank account and it didn't have a million My internal emotional state is basically "civilian." (Chorus) Oh, I’m so sad, I’m tragically blue I’ve got the kind of heartbreak only ice cream can subdue The Wi-Fi’s down to two bars, the sky is slightly grey I’m the protagonist of a very bad indie play Woe is me, pass the tissues and the tea I’m as miserable as a human being can be. (Bridge) Is it the moon? Is it the stars? Is it the fact that I can’t find my favorite candy bars? The world is a cold place, the sun is way too bright I’m gonna stay in bed and complain until it’s night. (Guitar Solo - sounds like a kazoo) (Outro) So sad... Devastated by this mild inconvenience... Everything is terrible... Wait, is that ice cream? I think I’m okay now. (Fade out)